Thank you, Hachette, for allowing me to give away 5 copies ofCULT INSANITY: A Memoir of Polygamy, Prophets, and Blood Atonement by Irene Spencer.
Life for Irene Spencer was a series of devastating disappointments and hardships. Irene's first book, Shattered Dreams, is the staggering chronicle of herstruggle to provide for her children in abject poverty and feelings of abandonment each time her husband left to be with one of his other wives. Irene was raised to believe polygamy was the way of life necessary for her ticket to heaven.
The hard knocks of her environment were just the beginning of Irene's shocking tale. Insanity ran rampant in her husband's family and was the source of inconceivable events that unfolded throughout Irene's adult life. CULT INSANITY takes readers deeper into her story to uncover the outrageous behavior of her brother-in-law Ervil -- a self-proclaimed prophet who determined he was called to set the house of God in order -- and how he terrorized their colony. Claiming to be God's avenger and to have a license to kill in the name of God, Ervil ordered the murders of friends and family members, eliminating all those who challenged his authority.
For those who were gripped by Shattered Dreams, the rest of the story will blow them away. CULT INSANITY is a riveting, terrifying memoir of polygamist life under the tyranny of a madman. (hachettebookgroup.com)
Here are the Insane Rules:
Five copies to giveaway.
Open only to U.S. and Canada.
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About the book:Sicily, 1347. It starts with a strange ship in the village harbor. That night an old man falls ill. . .then the baker's wife. . .then a street urchin. By morning half the townspeople are dead and more are dying--horribly. Civic order breaks down. Wolves move in from the countryside. And no one has a clue what is happening or how to stop it. Not the local priest. Not the rich baron. Not the baron's proud daughter, nor the powerful knight who loves her. Certainly no the outcast healer whom many call a witch.
Only the Destroyer and the unseen Watchers know the real story. . .along with an unwilling visitor from another time. Mariskka recognizes the Black Death that will soon decimate Europe. But she has no voice to speak, no way to help. . .until she dares open her pain-hardened heart to the unfathomable truth. (back cover)
Richly imagined, tautly suspenseful, and deeply moving. . .another heart-stopping historical thriller form the author of In the Shadow of Lions.
About the author: Critically acclaimed author Ginger Garrett (Dark Hour, Chosen: The Lost diaries of Queen Esther, and most recently In the Shadow of Lions) creates novels and nonfiction resources that explores the lives of historical women. In addition to her writing, Garrett is a frequent radio and television guest. She resides in Georgia with her husband and three children. (back cover)
In the Arms of Immortals Publisher/Publication Date: David C. Cook, Sept 2009 ISBN: 978-0-7814-4888-8 320 pages
The Transformation (A Project Restoration Novel) by Terri Kraus
Publisher: David C. Cook
About the book:Oliver Barnett is a good contractor, a good Christian, and an obedient son, never in trouble, never one to rock the boat. . .until real-estate developer Samantha Cohen enters his life and offers him a controversial renovation project: Transform an historic church into a restaurant/night club. Samantha, full of life, vitality, and wit, is unlike any woman he has ever known--in more ways than one. However, with Samantha's less-than-innocent past and the fact that she's Jewish, Oliver's not sure if he should get involved with her or the Blue Church project.
At the same time, Oliver's old girlfriend Paula rekindles a long-ago relationship with him--with the enthusiastic encouragement of his domineering mother. Paula would be the safe choice, and the choice that would appease Mom, yet Oliver is drawn to Samantha because of her beauty and her exotic nature. Oliver finds himself in a most unsettling dilemma. Does he do what's right by the nice girl his mother has chosen for him, or does he follow his heart? (back cover)
About the author: An award-winning interior designer, Terri Kraus comes to the Project Restoration series naturally, having survived the remodel, renovation, and restoration of three separate personal residences, along with those of her clients. The author/coauthor (with husband, Jim) of eleven other novels, including The Renovation and The Renewal, Terri lives in Wheaton, Illinois, with her husband and son, Elliot. (back cover)
The Transformation Publisher/Publication Date: David C. Cook, Sept 2009 ISBN: 978-0-7814-4867-3 304 pages
About the book:An unforgettable novel of young love and coming of age in a nation headed toward revolution.
In a middle-class neighborhood in Iran's sprawling capital city, seventeen-year-old Pasha Shahed spends the summer of 1973 on his rooftop with his best friend, Ahmed, joking around and talking about the future. Even as Pasha asks burning questions about life, he also wrestles with a crushing secret. He has fallen in love with his beautiful neighbor Zari, who has been betrothed since birth to another man. And despite Pasha's guilt-ridden feelings for her, over the long, hot days his tentative friendship with Zari deepens into a rich emotional bond.
But the bliss of those perfect stolen months is shattered in a single night, when Pasha unwittingly acts as a beacon for the Shah's secret police. The violent consequences awaken Pasha and his friends to the reality of living under the rule of a powerful despot, and lead Zari to make a shocking choice from which Pasha may never fully recover.
In a poignant, funny, eye-opening, and emotionally vivid debut novel, Mahbod Seraji lays bare the beauty and brutality infused in the centuries-old Persian culture, while reaffirming the human experiences we all share: laughter, tears, love, fear, and above all, hope. (back cover)
About the author: Mahbod Seraji was born in Iran and moved to the United States in 1976 at the age of nineteen. He attended the University of Iowa, where he received an MA in film and broadcasting and a Ph.D. in instructional design and technology. He currently works as a management consultant, and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. (inside book)
NOW FOR THE GIVEAWAY! Thanks to the author, Mahbod, I have one autographed copy to giveaway to a lucky reader! Just leave me a comment with an email address to enter! This giveaway will end Sept 7th! INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY!
Rooftops of Tehran Publisher/Publication Date: NAL Trade, May 2009 ISBN: 978-1-451-22681-5 368 pages
This week's pre-publication "can't-wait-to-read" selection is:
Evil at Heart by Chelsea Cain
Publisher/Publication Date: Minotaur Books, September 1, 2009
STARRED review--After his last encounter with bewitching serial killer Gretchen Lowell (Sweetheart, 2008), Portland, Oregon, police detective Archie Sheridan checked himself into a mental hospital. And why not? The man has suffered enough at Gretchen’s beautiful but deadly hands. Let’s recap: first she tortured him unmercifully, cutting out his spleen sans anesthesia, before inexplicably letting him live (Heartsick, 2007); then, after escaping from prison, she drew him into her web again, seduced him, and sliced his jugular vein, not quite badly enough to kill him. But, of course, Gretchen isn’t through with Archie.
When bodies with missing spleens start turning up around Portland, usually in locations where Gretchen has plied her trade in the past, Archie’s police colleagues come calling at the loony bin: they need his help if they are to have any chance at catching the “Beauty Killer” this time. But is Gretchen really back, or has she spawned a generation of copycats whose taste for removing internal organs is every bit as voracious as her own? A few more spleens are sacrificed before that gets sorted out, and Cain packs plenty of surprises for us along the way (don’t even ask by which male part one hapless fellow is suspended), but don’t panic: it isn’t all spectacular gore. Cain continues to display her remarkable ability to probe the psyches of her characters the way Gretchen probes our squishy parts. She’s no slouch at narrative strategy, either. Remarkably, both Gretchen and Archie are offstage more than on this time around, but that proves a clever ploy, both because it heightens our anticipation for the inevitable confrontation and because it gives more screen time to punky, spunky reporter Susan Ward, whose charisma demands a starring role eventually. Popular entertainment—the kind that mixes crime, horror, and even a little comedy—just doesn’t get much better than this. (Booklist)
"...Popular entertainment - the kind that mixes crime, horror, and even a little comedy - just doesn’t get much better than this."
--Booklist, STARRED review
(EVIL AT HEART)
"We've been down Hannibal Lecter Avenue many times, and these two books shouldn't work...but they do. Chalk it up to excellent writing and Cain's ferocious sense of humor."
--Stephen King, Entertainment Weekly | Top 10 Books of 2008
(HEARTSICK & SWEETHEART)
And that's not all! If you want to be a little freaked out - read the excerpt of Evil at Heart!
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
My thoughts:This author's story is filled with such love and strength - and her faith in God, as well as her husband's, is amazing. This is the story of their relationship, how they coped after her husband's diagnosis with small cell carcinoma, and her journey after he passed away. It is about letting go and letting God - and choosing His way over the way we think and we want things to be. The story is filled with beautiful scripture references that helped her cope. It is also the story of her grief and how she learned and is learning to live again. It is a beautiful story, yet one filled with sorrow. I know that there is also a workbook companion that is available to go along with this book for individual or group study.
In both her professional and personal life, Tanya Unkovich describes herself as “a mixed bag.” As a qualified CPA and expert in accounting software, she provides counseling and consulting services. Later in life, she received training as a life and corporate coach and now maintains a private coaching [therapy] practice in Auckland, New Zealand. Her latest career developments include writing articles for local magazines, publishing Unplanned Journey and the accompanying workbook, and fulfilling speaking engagements. On the personal side, Unkovich traces her passionate approach to life to her Croatian roots. She pursues health and wellness on all levels—physical, emotional, and spiritual—and prefers to fill her hours with fun, creativity, friends, family, and Fergus the cat, who is a source of absolute joy.
List Price: $14.99 Paperback: 224 pages Publisher: VMI (January 1, 2009) Language: English ISBN-10: 1933204753 ISBN-13: 978-1933204758
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
PART ONE: PHIL’S JOURNEY
One
November 8, 2004
It was November 8, 2004; we were at my mom and dad’s home to celebrate Phil’s birthday, just the four of us that night. My parents were not aware that Phil and I were awaiting the results of a biopsy on a lump in his left armpit, a procedure that had been done some five days earlier.
The secret of this lump that Phil and I shared had caused me much distress during the previous two weeks; however, Phil insisted that we tell no one. My mother however, knowing her daughter, knew that something was not right with me during this time but did not push me for an answer when she approached me about my somber moods. Oh how much I wanted to share my concern with her, but I could not, as I had sworn to Phil that mom and dad were not to know. We were not to cause them any concern. I however could not help myself and had told three girlfriends during these two weeks, simply to release the pressure that was upon me and eventually he too had told a close friend.
On the day of his birthday, my concern was that it was five days later, and we still had not heard the result of this biopsy. Phil, however, was still not concerned. Earlier that day Phil and I had spoken on the phone, and when I asked him if he had heard from the doctor yet, he said to me. “No and I am not worried either Tanya. God is not going to give me sickness now. I have too much to do in this world.” He did add that it was only a five percent concern for him. I was not convinced that all was well until we had heard the final result, and the simple fact that this result was taking so long was worrying me.
The day of Phil’s birthday was long and arduous for me as each time the phone would ring my heart would pound as I wondered if this was the call we were waiting for. How I got through this day was by means of a fantasy that I had created and which replayed in my head constantly.
My fantasy was that we would be having dinner with mom and dad, one of her fabulous feasts. Phil would receive a phone call from his doctor whilst we were dining saying that all was well, that the lump was simply an infection of some sort and there was nothing to be concerned about. We would then tell mom and dad what we had been going through over the past two weeks and that everything was fine, and within days we could now move ahead and enjoy our dream holiday of a Caribbean cruise, on which we were due to leave three days later. We could then proceed to really celebrate Phil’s birthday and enjoy the remainder of the evening.
This was my fantasy and what I needed to hold onto in order to get through this day, November 8, as the alternative was too unbearable to invest any more energy into. Anyway, that sort of thing would never happen to me and was not part of my life plan.
Intuitively I knew that Phil would receive the call whilst we were there for dinner. However, I did not know which way the pendulum would swing for us––after all it was a fifty-fifty chance either way. What kept me positive and thinking that the outcome would be favorable was simply the belief that surely Phil and I would never be given such an enormous hurdle to overcome in our lives. We were the perfect couple, with the perfect love and perfect life. This alone kept me positive and any other outcome would simply be a tragedy.
There still existed many facts that continued to fuel my fear. Firstly and most importantly, the lump was still there, and it was not getting any smaller. Secondly and my most fearful was what my intuition kept telling me, that Phil had cancer.
I could not rest and be at peace during this wait. Little snippets of peace would blanket me, but would be short lived as the fear would roll in over and pull the comfort of this blanket away from me as if taken by a corner and whisked away, often leaving me shivering.
That evening I was unable to enjoy mom’s famous roast chicken, which as always, had a crunchy golden roasted skin, with the flavors of garlic, olive oil and salt in exactly the correct portions that only mom could measure to perfection.
It was just after 6.15 p.m. when Phil was about to cut his birthday cake when the sound of his cell phone ringing startled me. I recall the exact times very clearly as each moment was like an eternity for me that night. I knew that this was the call. My fantasy had begun. How would the pendulum swing?
Immediately my heart began to race as I heard Phil say, “Hello Rhona,” he stood up from the dining room table and walked about ten feet to the kitchen bench with the cell phone in his left hand. I followed him staring at his face, his blue eyes, just to get some indication from his expressions, his words or his tone that all was well and I could then continue to live out my fantasy that I had so perfectly composed with my perfect outcome.
It was Phil’s reply to Rhona in four words that altered my life forever, “What time tomorrow morning” that I knew the pendulum had not swung in our favor. I placed my hands on the kitchen bench, bent my head down and looked to the fawn tiled floor. The feeling of overwhelming nausea immediately came over me, and my breathing became heavy. It felt as though pins were jabbing into my head. I looked up and was facing Phil as he used his spare hand to look for a pen and began shuffling on the kitchen bench to look for some paper. He settled for the back of an envelope. He said very little at first then commenced to ask Rhona what the results were. She did not want to say on the phone, but he insisted that she tell him and said that he would rather know now than wait until the morning.
The walls of the kitchen began to turn around me as I watched Phil write on the back of this envelope the words, lymphoma and small cell carcinoma with a question mark. He ended his conversation to Rhona saying that he would see her at eight thirty the following morning.
Phil slowly placed his cell phone on top of the envelope that now held his fate, and I immediately draped my arms around his neck, terrified. I could not cry; I could barely get air into my lungs. I just held him as my head was nestled to his left. Phil appeared to be strong, in fact, like someone who did not want to be fussed over at that moment. He appeared in shock and was later to tell me that this was one time that he was in fact very frightened.
Meanwhile, my parents were still sitting at the dining room table confused and looking at us both. But by this stage knowing that something was seriously wrong. I can still see my mother’s look of confusion as she kept saying to me, “Tanya, what is wrong?”
It was I who looked at my mother and said, “Mom, Phil has cancer.” I recall seeing her look of confusion become a state of absolute disbelief in the words she had just heard. Briefly and hurriedly I informed them of the sequence of events during the previous two weeks.
Phil said very little, as he sat there, obviously in shock and stunned. It was then that my very intuitive mother told me that she had sensed something was wrong with me over the past weeks, that I was not the same. I was quiet and distant, but she was unable to pinpoint what was happening to me. However, she admitted that even this mother would never have expected something like this to be troubling her daughter, whom she knew so well.
Horror now replaced the joy that my parents had felt only ten minutes earlier as they were about to sing happy birthday to their son-in-law, who they referred to as their fourth son. “Not our Philip” were the words that mom repeated, I can still hear them.
Phil and I sat down again at the dining room table where his uncut birthday cake still remained. I wrapped my arms around my waist and started to cry in disbelief, rocking forwards and backwards in my chair. This cannot be happening to us; this is not true, not Phil, not my precious Phil, were the thoughts that were racing through my very confused mind.
Once again the dining room felt as though it was spinning around me, and all I wanted to do was to escape and return back two weeks to that feeling of bliss that I was experiencing in my perfect life.
Phil was slightly annoyed at my reaction, and he was trying to indicate to me that it was not something to panic about and not to frighten mom and dad any more than they should be. Mom and Dad both kept reassuring me of the same, saying that Phil would be fine and that I should calm down and that once they simply cut out the cancerous growth, “he will be fine,” they kept saying.
Never in my life had I hoped that my parents would be right as they tried to comfort their little girl, their terrified little girl. Phil did not show his fear that night as I did; whilst he was in shock and frightened, he tried to be strong for us all.
No matter what anyone said to me at the dinner table that night, I had a terrible feeling. Something inside me knew that it would not be as simple as cutting out a cancerous lump. It was far greater than this, and something big was about to happen in our lives.
Phil’s frame of mind changed to being slightly jovial, and he was determined to have a piece of his birthday cake that mum made for her son-in-law: banana with chocolate icing on top. He proceeded to cut his cake but without the usual joyous singing and ate this piece of cake in a manner to show his mum he appreciated and enjoyed the cake that she made for him. This was what he portrayed. Phil’s state of happiness was in fact his own defense mechanism kicking in as he was trying to protect himself from what his consciousness at that moment was actually not able to assimilate. I believe that Phil also wanted to protect us from seeing what he was really feeling at that moment.
Whilst we were still at my parent’s home that night, I went into the bathroom upstairs and made a phone call to my close friend Catherine. I was trying to speak as quietly as I could to tell her what we had just heard, and all I can remember is Catherine replying in her gentle Scottish accent saying “Oh no.”
Catherine had been my main support, not only during the previous two weeks, but also during many other painful journeys in my life. It was Catherine whom I had phoned in the early hours of a cold May morning in 1998 after we had discovered that my father had just been diagnosed with cancer. We cried together on the phone that morning and we would be shedding many more tears together in the months to follow this phone call.
As we drove away from mom and dad’s, I recall them standing at the front door of their home saying goodbye with hand waves that were not like the usual ones of joy but simply raising their hands in some form of acknowledgement, neither of us really knowing of what.
I knew very well what would happen behind that closed front door once they went inside. In spite of being strong for both Phil and I that night, normally mom and dad do not mind expressing their feelings, and this would have been done whilst they were together behind that closed door. Their tears would have flowed as they held each other, in utter disbelief of what they had just learned, of what had just been asked of their little girl and her husband to now endure in their life.
On our way home, not a lot was spoken in the car between Phil and I; we were silent. However we wanted to commence our fight against this beast inside Phil’s body immediately. Phil was an Area Manager for a supermarket chain, and his office was at our local supermarket, only a five minute drive from our home. Phil had always kept a very healthy diet and was at one point in his life a vegetarian, so he was very knowledgeable about food groups and what his body needed.
We had decided to stop there before returning home and we began buying organic vegetables, fruits, cereals, vitamins, and anything that we felt would help cleanse Phil’s body and somehow take away this nightmare. We were in shock and disbelief as we frantically looked around the market, wanting to find anything that would assist us and provide us with a feeling that we were doing something towards the cause.
Later that evening, the two of us sat in the lounge together praying that somehow this nightmare for us would end, and we could return to our simple life as it was only two weeks earlier.
All we knew was that Phil had either Lymphoma or Small Cell Carcinoma; we knew nothing about either of these types of cancer. I had heard that Lymphoma was treatable and knew of people whom had survived this type of cancer but was not sure about those other three words. Somehow, with the word small in the description, Phil naively assumed that Small Cell Carcinoma was perhaps not that bad. Little did we know how deadly three words could be.
We were later to learn that small cell carcinoma of unknown primary (SCUP) is a deadly and uncommon cancer that is usually diagnosed in the lymph nodes, liver, brain or bone. The prognosis varies from a few months to several years depending on the location, extent of disease and response to therapy.
The following morning I was physically and emotionally shattered. Apart from momentarily dozing, neither of us slept that night. Phil got up and went to the gym early that day, as he did every other morning. Today would be no different for him. He was going to continue with his life. I did not have the energy to do much at all; my body was in shock and shaking. It astounded me that Phil actually got up and did his usual gym routine.
At five thirty that morning I phoned my friends, Sue and Meg, the other two friends who were aware of our dilemma during the previous weeks, and I just wept. Whatever sleep I got the night before was not enough to remove the nightmare when I awoke that morning. Yes, last night did happen and yes, my fantasy that I had so perfectly scripted did not come true.
When Phil returned from his workout, he told me that his friend Tony stopped him at the gym and said “Mate, you are looking really good, what are you doing? I have never seen you look in better shape.” Phil told me that he sarcastically wanted to say, “oh just get cancer mate, that’s how you do it.”
Phil and I went together for the eight–thirty appointment. Even though we were early, Phil’s doctor Rhona came out to get us as soon as we arrived. The first thing I noticed as she approached us was firstly her gentle but very nervous smile and then her beautiful bush of black wavy hair.
Rhona had been wonderful to us both in the past. I had always respected her for how thorough she was and her beautiful manner during the times when I sat with her and cried to her about not being able to conceive and become pregnant. She was originally from South Africa, and I often felt comforted by her accent and soft voice. However, on this morning, no matter how softly and calmly Rhona spoke, when I heard the words “secondary cancer,” it was as if she was shouting them directly into my face.
My knowledge of cancer was reasonable, and what I did know for sure was that secondary cancer was not good and it meant that there was a primary cancer elsewhere in Phil’s body. The biopsy result was not yet conclusive, and further tests were being performed to rule out lymphoma. They believed that Phil had small cell carcinoma, which we were told apparently often originates in the lung. This meant that whatever was in his lymph nodes in his armpit was not all there was, and it was not going to be a matter of simply “cutting out a lump.”
Once again I began to feel nauseated, and the room was closing in on me. I could barely look at Phil, who was also in shock and feeling the same disbelief that I was. Immediately I visualized a tumor inside Phil, sitting on his lung. Then I began to tremble harder and stronger, wanting to escape from this cage that I was placed in. All I wanted was to return to my life before October 25 when all was well in my world, and I was ignorant of what in fact lay ahead in my life.
This was November 9. We were due to go on a Caribbean Cruise only two days later––a holiday that Phil desperately needed and one that up until October 25 I had looked forward to so much.
My immediate reaction was that we could not go on this holiday and that Phil had to begin treatment of some sort to remove this cancer from his body immediately. Rhona already had a verbal suggestion from an oncologist that Phil was not to travel, and I agreed. “We cannot go, please, let’s stay home and get you well. Start treatment, do whatever to stop this beast.” Phil said no, and he insisted that we go on this holiday. For him this was to be the beginning of his healing. He said he was tired and needed to rest and was adamant in Rhona’s office that nothing or no one would hold him back from this holiday which he so desperately needed.
He became angry with me in the office at my fearful reaction. I did not want to lose another moment to this disease which was inside Phil’s body and what I sensed was moving rapidly.
It is only as I now write this that I can look back and feel, Phil, you followed your heart your intuition and your decision was perfect. Who was I to suggest what you were to do with your body? Phil said no to everything that everyone was firing at him that morning. “This is my decision and I need to do this, we will go on this holiday, I need this holiday, I need this rest, I want to start my healing by resting my body, and I will not have chemotherapy.” It was as simple as that for Phil; this was his body and his call.
I don’t know how we got home that morning. All we had to do was to walk two hundred meters from the Doctor’s surgery which was across the road and down a side street from our home. We walked in silence. Looking at Phil was my greatest pain. At that moment, I could see his fear as we crossed the busy road, both of us oblivious to all the traffic on that Tuesday morning. Tuesdays would not be the same for me for many a month after that day.
Once we arrived home we made a couple of phone calls: one to Phil’s friend and confidant Debbie and once again I saw his fear. I held him tightly with my arms around his waist as he spoke to her.
A few moments later, I called mom and dad and told them in my Croatian tongue that it was worse than we thought––that it was on Phil’s lungs and who knows where else. I recall having to repeat it to Dad so that he understood and even louder again so he could hear what I was saying. This however was disrupted by the wailing in the background that came from my mother’s heart. I cried as I told my father. I could hear his tears also and feel his heart being taken from his chest as I did my best to explain what I understood of Phil’s condition.
I made this call from our bedroom as I was looking out at nothing on the street. It was a busy main road with the constant sound of cars going past. This morning however, the sound of the cars did not register in my thinking and the noise that would so often have bothered me just did not compute, because all I knew and could think about was that my husband Phil had cancer. Nothing else mattered any more.
Phil asked that my parents tell no one of his diagnosis, not even my brothers. I pleaded with him that we not keep this a secret that my parents needed support here also, and he finally agreed that yes my brothers could know, but no one else was to know at this point. My father left mom alone for awhile as he went to my brother Zel’s office to tell him what was now happening in our family.
Phil headed off to work shortly after our phone calls, and, once he had departed, Zel phoned me, and finally I was able to release the anguish that had lodged itself in my chest that morning. We were both in tears as we gently spoke. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, facing the mirror of my bedroom suite looking unbelievably at a distressed woman in the reflection as if I was watching a movie. I could not believe and did not want to believe that it was actually I who was looking back at me.
Horror overcame me as I watched this movie, and I began crying to Zel that I did not want to lose Phil. I did not want him to die. Once again, my arm was wrapped around my stomach as I sat on the edge of my bed rocking forwards and backwards. Did I think that this cradling of self would ease my pain, perhaps? I will never forget the words that Zel then spoke to me, “Tanya, if it is God’s will to take our brother Phil, then one thing I know is that he will be in Heaven, and that is what really matters.” Whilst I knew this to be true, this was not to be the outcome; it could not be.
Phil did want to visit his sister Marie that morning to let her know what had happened to us over the past two weeks and what he was now facing. Marie was special to him, very similar to his mother, Moira, who had already passed away some 18 years earlier. Marie was his “big” sister, with a big heart, who had a huge love for her “big baby” brother.
When we arrived at her shop she knew that something was wrong, since we had both shown up unannounced––something that had never occurred before. As I walked towards her I could see her apprehension which was hidden behind a smile that was placed on her face as if it was painted on.
It was Phil who began to tell her that he had cancer and the brief details of what we knew, and then came his first tears. Finally he was able to let his tears come with his big sister. He did not need to be brave at this moment. How he would have loved to have had his mom with him at that time I am sure.
Marie was stoic. The three of us held each other closely in her shop as I then completed the story which Phil had begun, as much as I could, with the only words that I knew, “cancer, secondary, probably lung.” I was strong, but my voice was trembling. I too wanted to cry, but I could not. This was Phil’s time now to shed those much needed tears, and, as difficult as it was for me at this time, I held mine in for now.
Those other big words, small cell carcinoma, meant nothing to me at this point. In time however, they would haunt me––they would wake me in the night and it would be a long time before I could see or hear those words without trembling.
The three of us continued to hold each other and formed a little triangle, me, hoping that these cuddles and love would be what would start to shrink this foreign beast that had lodged itself inside Phil’s beautiful body.
Phil was such a proud man. He trained hard at the gym and always liked to look his best. He was well known for his beautiful wardrobe of clothes. He was naturally lean. At six foot three inches tall he weighed in at only eighty four kilograms when we met; as he did a lot of running. However, that was something I knew would change after being in a Croatian family. He needed some padding; my mom thought, and she had much joy in doing this!
By the time of our wedding day some two years later, Phil was ninety kilograms and at the time of his diagnosis he was ninety six kilograms, of which he was very proud. I remember one night when he was coming to bed as he proudly waltzed in to our room after his typical lengthy shower, and I said to him, “Do you love your body honey”?
“Hell yeah,” was his jovial reply, “it’s the only one God gave me and I am going to look after it!” This was something Phil always did.
No matter what shape or size we naturally are, I realized first hand at the time of Phil’s illness how lucky we were that we had healthy bodies.
About the book:When American librarian Samantha Lewis and Irish rogue Keirnan Fitzgerald set off to find priceless jewels, they become embroiled in a 500-year-old love story that eerily prefigures their own...
In 15th century Venice, beautiful and wealthy Serafina falls in love with Nino, a young Florentine sculptor. They decide to flee to Padua, and to fund the trip, Nino copies a set of jewels that then disappear.
In modern-day Venice, Keirnan needs Samantha's help to locate the jewels so he can pay his sister's ransom. Samantha must decide whether the man she's so drawn to is her soul mate from a previous life...or are they merely pawns in a relentless quest for a priceless treasure? (Amazon)
Check out these blogs for more guest posts, interviews and giveaways:
Award-Winning Author introduces the next installment of her paranormal romance series
A 2008 Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year Award Winner!
Night Owl Romance Reader Choice Award for Best Paranormal 2008
In this third in the series, wildlife photographer Tessa Anderson must prove her brother innocent of murder charges. But when she discovers a gorgeous naked man barely alive on her beach, she's got a new world of troubles to deal with, not least of which is how he affects her with just a look, a touch, or a whispered word.
Hunter Greymore is a lupus garou, a grey werewolf. Hoping to keep a low profile at Tessa's cabin on the coast, he's drawn into her life—and into her bed. His animal instincts war with his human half, but in the end, the only thing he can do about this fascinating, adorable woman is to leave her forever —unless she becomes one of them. (Sourcebooks)
PRAISE FOR TERRY SPEARS' SERIES:
"The vulpine couple's chemistry crackles off the page, but the real strength of the book lies in Spear's depiction of pack power dynamics, as well as in the details of human-wolf interaction." Publishers Weekly
"A solidly crafted werewolf story, this tale centers on pack problems in a refreshingly straightforward way." Romantic Times, 4-star review
"Bella and Devlyn's devotion to each other is endearing. Their love scenes sizzle the pages...definitely hot! I look forward to reading more about this author's werewolf tales." Paranormal Romance Reviews
"A lively read that keeps readers on their feet, and an excellent addition to the serious wolf-lover's library. When it comes to authenticity, this novel truly embodies the Heart of the Wolf." Book Fetish
"Ms. Spear is a gifted author who brings a unique perspective to the paranormal genre." Fresh Fiction Reviews
"Chilling suspense and sizzling romance meet in this page-turner. The dark, sexy alpha hero will capture you—body, mind and soul." Nicole North, author of Devil in a Kilt
Beg, Borrow, Steal: A Writer's Life by Michael Greenberg
Publisher: Other Press
About the book:In Beg, Borrow, Steal Michael Greenberg regales us with his vivid take on the life of a writer of little means trying to practice his craft or simply stay alive. He finds himself doctoring doomed movie scripts; selling cosmetics from an ironing board in front of a women's department store; writing about golf, a game he has never played; and botching his debut as a waiter in a posh restaurant.
Central characters include Michael's father, whose prediction that Michael's "scribbling" wouldn't get him on the subway almost came true; his artistic first wife, whom he met in a Greenwich Village high school; and their son who grew up on the Lower East Side, fluent in the language of the street and in the language of the parlor. Then there are Greenberg's unexpected encounters: a Holocaust survivor who on his deathbed tries to leave Michael his fortune; a repentant communist who confesses his sins; a man who becomes a woman; a Chilean filmmaker in search of his past; and rats who behave like humans and cease to live underground.
Hilarious and bittersweet, Greenberg's stories invite us into a world where the familial, the literary, the tragic, and the mundane not only speak to one another, but deeply enjoy the exchange. (book jacket)
About the author: A native New Yorker, Michael Greenberg is the author of the memoir Hurry Down Sunshine, published in sixteen countries and chosen as one of the best books of 2008 by Time, the San Francisco Chronicle, Amazon.com, and Library Journal. He is a columnist for the Times Literary Journal. He is a columnist for the Times Literary Supplement. His writing has appeared in such varied places as O, The Oprah Magazine and The New York Review of Books. He lives in New York. (book jacket)
Beg, Borrow, Steal Publisher/Publication Date: Other Press, September 2009 ISBN: 978-1-59051-341-5 232 pages
About the book:The Sum of His Syndromes is a wry, odd, idiosyncratic book. A collage of notes written in a sixth-floor men's room, it is the story of a dissatisfied, slightly disturbed young man named David who has found himself at a personal and professional crossroads. He has a job he hates, but cannot leave, and a girl he loves, but cannot fully understand. With help from his friend, Peter, and his therapist, the irrepressible Dr. Costa, he struggles to make sense of his complicated young life.
A fractured, fragmented, unconventional narrative, Syndromes offers a comic look at office angst, contemporary psychiatric practice and romantic uncertainty.
A conglomeration of thoughts, observations, commentary, overheard conversations and cameo appearances, its story--David and Kate's story--merges surreptitiously from this innovative presentation of a confused and chaotic time. (back cover)
About the author: K.B. Dixon's work has appeared in numerous magazines, newspapers and journals. The recipient of an OAC Individual Artist Fellowship Award, he is the author of Andrew (A to Z), a novel, and My Desk and I, a collection of short stories. (back cover)
The Sum of His Syndromes Publisher/Publication Date: Academy Chicago Publishers, May 2009 ISBN: 978-0-89733-586-7 142 pages
About the book: Mia is a granola-eating, sensible shoe-wearing, carbon footprint-conscious twenty-something living in a multicultural neighborhood in Chicago. Her mother, Babs, is a stiletto-wearing ZsaZsaGabor type who works as an activities hostess on a Caribbean cruise line. . .and if you guessed there's some tension there, you'd be right. Factor in an unexpected pregnancy and Mia's idealistic boyfriend, and the mother-daughter relationship is, well, stretched very thin. As is Mia's sanity when Babs shows up to. . .help.
Actually, Mia has a whole neighborhood of quirky characters who want to help, including her BFF, Frankie, a magenta-haired librarian; Silas, the courtly gentleman of indeterminate age who lives downstairs; and Adam, proprietor of the corner grocery store where Mia shops. But it's Adam--endearing, kind, possessed of a perfect smile and impeccable Persian manners--who ultimately charms Babs and rescues Mia from more than one mother-induced meltdown. Could it be that Mia and Babs might actually be able to get along?
With Kimberly Stuart's trademark irreverent humor and a surprising and satisfying take on romance, Stretch Marks is an authentic but tender story about family, grace, and the importance of a good grocer. (back cover)
About the author:Kimberly Stuart lives, plays, parents, does a lot of laundry, and writes at her home in Des Moines, Iowa. (back cover)
Stretch Marks Publisher/Publication Date: David C. Cook, Sept 2009 ISBN: 978-0-7814-4892-5 304 pages
About the book:Little children understand how amazing the Nativity story is. But, sometimes, as we become men and women, we put away the childlike with the childish. The result? We lose something vital--the wonder of it all. When author John Blase went looking for the lost wonder of Christmas, he went back to the place he'd last seen it--the stories from Luke 1-2. What he found fills the pages of his new book, Touching Wonder: Recapturing the Awe of Christmas, with flesh and bone and dust and night and a baby's cry; the intimate union of human and divine--the Incarnation.
By boldly imagining the first two chapters of the gospel of Luke, writer, editor, and former pastor John Blase has created an instant classic for Christmastime. In a tale that reads like a novel parallel parked by the record of Scripture, Blase beckons those who could use a little wonder in their lives to step onto the stage of history and witness the long awaited coming of the Messiah. With Eugene Peterson's The Message Bible translation as his backdrop, Blase adds his own voice and commentary to the historic events, exploring the renowned drama from an array of viewpoints.
In Touching Wonder, readers will meet a cast of unruly unlikelies--a frightened teenaged girl, a worried carpenter, a collection of senior citizens, a disillusioned young shepherd, even an angel or two--moving toward the realization that the little one just born is the One. This imaginative retelling of the grand miracle will leave readers wide-eyed, slack-jawed, and heart-full. The Lord is come!
In this lovely and distinctive book to be read. . .and re-read. . .and pondered in the heart, young and old will recapture the wonder of the Christmas story by seeing through the eyes of those who lived it. The book's graceful design and Amanda Jolman's beautiful line drawings combine to make this a thoughtful Christmas gift as well as a wonder that families will treasure for years to come. (The B&B Media Group)
About the author: John Blase's work includes Living the Questions and Living the Letters Bible-study series, the Worldviews reference book (TH1NK), Real Life Stuff for Couples, and The Message Children's Bible. A Former pastor, John currently edits by day and writes by night. He and his wife, Meredith, have three children and make their home in Colorado. (The B&B Media Group)
Touching Wonder Publisher/Publication Date: David C. Cook, Sept 2009 ISBN: 978-1-4347-6465-2 128 pages
About the book:When Playing House appeared in 1973, Publishers Weekly hailed it, "A probing descent into madness that will fascinate the same audience that appreciated I Never Promised You a Rose Garden." This nationally best-selling story of one woman's struggle with the lasting effects of a childhood sexual relationship with her brother shocked American readers; it remains a literary work of enduring quality and value. In his foreword Philip Roth writes, "The traumatized child; the institutionalized wife; the haunting desire; the ghastly business of getting through the day--what is striking about Wagman's treatment of these contemporary motifs is the voice of longing in which the heroine shamelessly confesses to the incestuous need that is at once her undoing and her only hope." (back cover)
About the author:FredricaWagman is the author of five novels, including His Secret Little Wife. She has four grown children and lives with her husband in New York City. (back cover)
Playing House Publisher/Publication Date: Zoland Books, May 2008 (35the edition) ISBN: 978-1-58195-225-4 176 pages
TEASER TUESDAYS asks you to: Grab your current read. Let the book fall open to a random page. Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12. You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given! Please avoid spoilers!
He moves along with an almost sprightly air, wagging his cane in greeting to some of the people he knows, stopping to embrace others who once worked with him at the Coco Grove Hotel--the people who made up what Beryl always contended was his real family, the people who saw him only in the roles of genial host or generous employer and still held him in high, uncomplicated regard. Stevie lags behind with the leashed puppy, who insists on meeting other dogs--a shihtzu entranced by Pip's butt, a Pomeranian intent on mounting him, a neutered pug clearly threatened by that lone crypt-orchid ball of his. (A Better View of Paradise, uncorrected proof, p85)
Teaser Tuesday is hosted at Should be Reading. Come on over and share your teaser, too!
A Better View of Paradise Publisher/Publication Date: Ballantine Books, July 2009 ISBN: 978-0345490360 368 pages
Well, one daughter has started her Freshman year of high school - another is set to start her Senior year Wednesday and the third starts preschool next Monday (yes preschool, next year I get to put one in college and one in kindergarten!) So it is time for my next Back to School Post!
Figures of Speech (and other devices for spicing up your writing) by Caroline Taggart, Author of I Used to Know That: Stuff You Forgot From School
A figure of speech is technically an expression used in a nonliteral (that is, a figurative) way, such as when you say My lips are sealed. Obviously, this is not possible unless you have put glue over them. When most people learn ways to expand their writing style, they are often directed to utilize such techniques as alliteration and onomatopoeia, which poets also use for effect. Here is a basic list that you may (or may not) remember:
alliteration: when a number of words in quick succession begin with the same letter or the same letter is repeated. For example, Full fathom five thy father lies, as Ariel sings in The Tempest.
assonance: similar to alliteration, but now with the repetition of vowel sounds. For example, And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side/ Of my darling -- my darling -- my life and my bride,/ In the sepulchre there by the sea,/ In her tomb by the sounding sea. (Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee)
euphemism: replacing an unpleasant word or concept with something less offensive, as in substituting the term Grim Reaper for death. Some are also intended to be funny, as when morticians refer to corpses as clients.
hyperbole: Pronounced hy-PER-bo-lee. Not HY-per-bowl. Exaggeration for effect, as in I've told you a hundred times. This is the opposite of . . .
litotes: understatement for effect, as when not bad means completely wonderful. Litotes can be interpreted differently, depending on culture and verbal emphasis.
metaphor: an expression in which a word is used in a nonliteral sense, saying that x is y rather than x is like y, which would be a simile. For example, Macbeth's Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage.
metonymy: Merriam-Webster defines this as "a figure of speech consisting of the name of one thing for that of another of which it is an attribute or with which it is associated." For example, the term press, which originally was used for printing press, now connotates the news media. Easily confused with synecdoche.
onomatopoeia: a word or phrase that sounds (a bit) like the sound it is meant to convey: buzz, purr, or Tennyson's the murmuring of innumerable bees.
oxymoron: an apparent contradiction for effect, the classic example being jumbo shrimp.
personification: giving human qualities, such as emotions, desires, and sensations to an inanimate object or an abstract idea. Emily Dickinson's The Railway Train is often cited as an example of personification:
I like to see it lap the miles, And lick the valleys up, And stop to feed itself at tanks; And then, prodigious step Around a pile of mountains . . .
simile: a comparison that -- unlike a metaphor -- expresses itself as a comparison, usually with the words as or like. Examples include dead as a dodo or like a bat out of hell.
synecdoche: a form of metonymy, but in this instance specifically "a whole for the part or a part for the whole." For example, a set of wheels used to denote the term automobile, or the command All hands on deck to summon a crew of sailors.
The above is an excerpt from the book I Used to Know That: Stuff You Forgot From School by Caroline Taggart. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.
Author Bio Caroline Taggart, author of I Used to Know That: Stuff You Forgot From School, has been an editor of non-fiction books for nearly 30 years and has covered nearly every subject from natural history and business to gardening and astronomy. She has written several books and was the editor of Writer's Market UK 2009.
About the book:In ancient Israel, war is looming. Deborah, a highly respected leader, has coerced the warrior Barak into launching a strike against the neighboring Canaanites. Against all odds, he succeeds and returns triumphantly with Asherah and Nogah, the daughters of the Canaanite king, as his captives. But military victory is only the beginning of the turmoil, as a complex love triangle develops between Barak and the two princesses.
Deborah, recently cast off by her husband, develops a surprising affinity for Barak. Yet she struggles to rebuild her existence on her own terms, while also groping her way toward the greatest triumph of her life.
Filled with brilliantly vivid historical detail, The Triumph of Deborah is the absorbing and riveting tale of one of the most beloved figures in the Bible, and a tribute to feminine strength and independence. (back cover)
About the author: Eva Etzioni-Halevy is professor emeritus of political sociology at Bar-Ilan University in Israel. She has published fourteen academic books and numerous articles, as well as two previous biblical novels. Born in Vienna, she spent World War II as a child in Italy, then moved to Palestine in 1945. She also lived in the United States and spent time in Australia before taking up her position at Bar-Ilan. Eva lives in Tel Aviv with her husband; she has three grown children. (inside book)
The Triumph of Deborah Publisher/Publication Date: Plume, Feb 2008 ISBN: 978-0-452-28906-2 368 pages
About the book:The impoverished Duke of Monchester despises the rich Americans who flock to London, seeking to buy their way into the ranks of the British peerage. So when railroad heiress Summer Wine Lee offers him a king's ransom if he'll teach her to become a proper lady, he's prepared to rebuff her. But when he meets the petite beauty with the knife in her boot, it's not her fortune he finds impossible to resist. . .
Frontier-bred Summer Wine Lee has no interest in winning over London society--it's the New York bluebloods and her future mother-in-law she's determined to impress. She knows the cost of smoothing her rough-and-tumble frontier edges will be high. But she never imaged it might cost her heart. . .
From acclaimed author Kathryne Kennedy comes a delightful new take on the romantic classic My Fair Lady. As a Wild West beauty takes Victorian London by storm, the devilishly handsome duke she's hired to instruct her in proper deportment begins to wonder if his unconventional pupil might be perfect just the way she is. . . (back cover)
About the author:Kathryne Kennedy is the author of the Relics of Merlin series, and is acclaimed for her world-building. She has also published nearly a dozen short stories in the SFF/Romance genre, receiving Honorable Mention twice in the "Writers of the Future" contest. She lives with her husband and two sons in Glendale, Arizona. (Amazon)
My Unfair Lady Publisher/Publication Date: Sourcebooks Casablanca, December 2009 ISBN: 978-1-4022-2990-9 384 pages
About the book:Savannah Compton is devastated when her sister and best friend Allison falls into a coma after a tragic accident. Or was it an accident? Even with a charming and handsome detective at her side, it seems Savannah may never discover the truth. But if she doesn't, her family could be in even more danger. And Savannah's past holds its own secrets that could change everything.
Now she must prove her innocence to the one person who is beginning to matter most. Join Savannah as she struggles to summon hope and rely on faith, even in the darkest of circumstances, and learn how the bond between sisters can overcome anything.
The Sister Pact is a thrilling romantic mystery, full of unexpected twists. Cami Checketts delivers an exhilarating new novel that will keep you guessing to the very last page. (back cover)
About the author:Cami Checketts is a wife, mother, exercise scientist, and avid supporter of Cold Stone Creameries. Although clean toilets are a wistful memory, she adores her husband and three wild boys. Sometimes between being a human horse, cleaning up magic potions, and reading Berenstain Bears, she gets the chance to write fiction. Cami has a BS in Exercise Science from Utah State University. She currently has a thriving business as a pro bono fitness trainer. Cami's blog, fitmommas, offers fitness advice and strength training routines for busy women.
Cami lives with her family in the beautiful Cache Valley of northern Utah. During the two months of the year it isn't snowing, she loves to swim, run and bike.
Thank you, Hachette, for allowing me to give away 5 copies of CULT INSANITY: A Memoir of Polygamy, Prophets, and Blood Atonement by Irene Spencer.
