First Wild Card Tour: Mom Needs Chocolate (Book Review)

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!



My review: If you are reading this book - get ready to laugh! It is full of humor, much of which I am sure, only a woman/mother can really understand. Like the spontaneous release of milk upon hearing ANY child cry in the story found below in the first chapter.

Each chapter reads like a daily devotion - usually starting with a scripture and ending with a prayer - and some "Faith in Action" questions. I did not sit down and read this book straight through, though it could be done. I chose to read one (or a few) a day - I just kept it accessible where if I had a few minutes and needed a pick me up I could read a chapter. The chapters cover everything from depression, piggishness and aging to God's Omnipotence, gratitude and prayer.

She talks about how (God) "wants us to be filled with His joy, not weighted down by the joy-sucking dully-funks." And I love how she describes dully-funks - "that black hole when nothing particularly bad is happening, just nothing good," or "that bottom-of-the-barrel place where your spirits are lower than chicken scratch."

I found this little book to be full of humor, wisdom, down-to-earth prayers - and it helped me to put things into perspective when I think I am the only one who doesn't always get it right. This is a very readable and relatable book and I recommend it to every mom!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Debora M. Coty

and the book:

Mom NEEDS Chocolate: Hugs, Humor and Hope for Surviving Motherhood

Regal (April 1, 2009)

***Special thanks to Rebeca Seitz of Glass Road Public Relations, LLC for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Debora M. Coty is the author or contributor to several books, including Mom NEEDS Chocolate: Hugs, Humor and Hope for Surviving Motherhood. A resident of Florida where she lives with her husband, Coty raised two children and enjoyed a dedicated career as an Occupational Therapist before beginning to chase her God-given dream of writing. She is known for communicating sound biblical concepts with a refreshing, light-hearted style. Her writings can be read in her monthly newspaper column, Grace Notes: God’s Grace for Everyday Living.

Visit the author's website.



Product Details:

List Price: $14.99
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Regal (April 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0830745920
ISBN-13: 978-0830745920

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

My Cups Runneth Over

Pregnancy

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother.

Mark Twain

As for you, be fruitful and multiply; populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it.

Genesis 9:7, NASB

There are a few things I’ve learned while fulfilling the “be fruitful and multiply” mandate.

Pregnancy draws you closer to your spouse. During an emergency stop in our driveway while I tossed my cookies in the grass, my husband, Chuck, tried to comfort me. Soon we were throwing up side by side. It was the most romantic thing he’s ever done. Those two brown spots on our lawn were the envy of all my friends.

Childbirth classes are invaluable informational sources. At the country hospital we’d chosen, one young farmer raised his hand the week after we learned about Braxton Hicks false labor contractions. He earnestly addressed the nurse instructor, “Ma’am, my wife’s been miserable all week. Could you tell us again about them Briggs and Stratton things?” He was the same strapping fellow who confided the first week, “We ain’t ever had any babies, but we’ve birthed a lot of cows.”

The budding momma’s swelling belly and the ledge over her innie-turned-outie navel aren’t the only evolutions in the body’s profile. Average-sized breasts become huge globes that bump into everything. It’s like having volleyballs attached to your chest. These alien chest globes take on their own personalities. I called mine the Bobbing Twins, Freddie and Flopsie. I addressed them directly: “Freddie, stop bouncing around or I’m going to fall off this bike,” or “Flopsie, you’re gonna have to squeeze into this DDD cup—there is no E.”

Finally, you’re in your ninth month. Ah, but the surprises are not over. After hours of sweating, teeth grinding and PUSHing, you are rewarded with a tiny screaming miracle. The little bugger has a surprisingly strong sucking reflex, and when he latches on, it feels like a vice grip to this incredibly sensitive part of your anatomy. You’re awfully glad you did that desensitization with the washcloth beforehand. I once commented to Chuck after performing this unpleasant ritual that rubbing myself with terrycloth made me empathize with that old table he was sanding.

“Hmmm. Yes, dear,” he answered, only half listening. I later overheard him inform his sister on the phone, “Debbie uses sandpaper on her chest to get ready for the baby.” No wonder his family thinks I’m weird.

Shortly after giving birth, my friend Julia (also a nursing mother) and I decided to take a well-deserved tennis break. Leaving the babies with their daddies, we headed for the courts. The blissful quiet was shattered by a wailing infant in a passing stroller, triggering that mysterious internal milk breaker switch. Julia and I simultaneously clutched our chests like gunshot victims at the incoming flood.

“Stop it, Freddie! Not now, Flopsie!” I pleaded with the Twins as two dark, wet spots appeared in strategic locations on the front of my white tennis shirt. Julia and I mopped ourselves between points with a soggy sweatband, bringing strange new meaning to the term, “bosom buddies.”1

Son of Man, thank You for the blessing of family and the miracle of babies. Make me more like You because they may end up being like me.



Note

1. Adapted from “My Cups Runneth Over” by Debora M. Coty, first appearing in Today’s Christian Woman, November/December 2004 issue. Used by permission.

Chance to win Born of Fire from St. Martin's Press!

New from St. Martin's Press is #1 New York Times bestselling author, Sherrilyn Kenyon's 3-book series, 'The League'! With over 19 million books in print, Sherrilyn Kenyon is renowned the world over as "the reigning queen of the paranormal genre that she pioneered long before the world had heard of Twilight." The second book from 'The League' series, 'Born of Fire', will be available November 3rd, 2009.

In celebration of 'Born of Fire', St. Martin's press is holding a book sweepstakes for your readers to enter - winners receive a free copy of 'Born Of Fire'! Here is the link for the 'Born of Fire' sweepstakes offer: (U.S. only - ends Nov 11)

http://us.macmillan.com/smp/promo/bornoffire

Read an excerpt of Born of Fire.


You can find out more about Sherrilyn Kenyon at these official sites:

http://www.Livetheleague.com

http://www.Sherrilynkenyon.com

http://www.Officialsanctuary.com

Library Loot 10-28-2009

Can you believe that I haven't had a Library Loot post since June? It isn't because I haven't been going to the library, just lacking the time to post! So, even though it is evening - I figured I could still get this up.

Library Loot is hosted by Eva at A Striped Armchair.









Life as We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer

When Miranda first hears the warnings that a meteor is headed on a collision path with the moon, they just sound like an excuse for extra homework assignments. But her disbelief turns to fear in a split second as the entire world witnesses a lunar impact that knocks the moon closer in orbit, catastrophically altering the earth's climate.

Everything else in Miranda's life fades away as supermarkets run out of food, gas goes up to more than ten dollars a gallon, and school is closed indefinitely.

But what Miranda and her family don't realize is that the worst is yet to come.

Told in Miranda's diary entries, this is a heart-pounding account of her struggle to hold on to the most important resource of all - hope - in an increasingly desperate and unfamiliar time. (book jacket)







The Time of My Life by Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi

In a career spanning more than thirty years, Patrick Swayze has made a name for himself on the stage, the screen and television. Known for his versatility, passion, and fearlessness, he's become one of our most beloved actors.

But in February 2008, Patrick announced he had been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Always a fighter, he refused to let the disease bring him to his knees, and his bravery has inspired both his legion of fans and cancer patients everywhere. Yet this memoir, written with wisdom and heart, recounts much more than his bout with cancer. In vivid detail, Patrick describes his Texas upbringing, his personal struggles, his rise to fame with North and South, his commercial breakthroughs in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, and the soul mate who's stood by his side through it all: his wife, writer and director Lisa Niemi.

A behind-the-scenes look at a Hollywood life and a remarkable love, this memoir is both entertainment and inspiration. Patrick and Lisa's marriage is a journey of two lives intertwined and lived as on-throughout their years in Hollywood and at home on their working ranch outside Los Angeles, and culminating in the hope and wisdom they've imparted to all who know them. This book will open the door for families, individuals, and husbands and wives to grow, bond, and discover entirely new levels of love and sharing, proving that life shouldn't be lived as a series of endings, but rather as the beginning of greater strength and love, (book jacket)





The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder by Rebecca Wells

The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder is the sweet, sexy, funny journey of Calla Lily's life set in Wells' expanding fictional Louisiana landscape. In the small river town of La Luna, Calla bursts into being, a force of nature as luminous as the flower she is named for. Under the loving light of the Moon Lady, the feminine force that will guide and protect her throughout her life, Calla enjoys a blissful childhood-until it is cut short. Her mother, M'Dear, a woman of rapture and love, teaches Calla compassion, and passes on to her the art of healing through the humble womanly art of "fixing hair." At her mother's side, Calla further learns that this same touch of hands on the human body can quiet her own soul. It is also on the banks of the La Luna River that Calla encounters sweet, succulent first love, with a boy named Tuck.

But when Tuck leaves Calla with a broken heart, she transforms hurt into inspiration and heads for the wild and colorful city of New Orleans to study at L'Academie de Beaute de Crescent. In that extravagant big river city, she finds her destiny - and comes to understand fully the power of her "healing hands" to change lives and soothe pain, including her own. When Tuck reappears years later, he presents her with an offer that is colored by the memories of lost love. But who knows how Calla Lilly, a "daughter of the Moon Lady," will respond?

A tale of family and friendship, tragedy and triumph, loss and love, The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder features the warmth, humor, soul, and wonder that have made Wells one of today's most cherished writers, and gives us an unforgettable new heroine to treasure. (book jacket)




Fireflies in December by Jennifer Erin Valent

"The summer I turned thirteen, I thought I killed a man."

So begins the story of Jessilyn Lassiter, a young girl whose world is torn apart the summer of 1932. When Jessilyn's best friend, Gemma, loses her parents in a tragic fire, Jessilyn's father vows to care for her as his own, despite the fact that Gemma is black and prejudice is prevalent in their southern Virginia town.

It doesn't take long for the Lassiters to attract the attention of a local band of Ku Klux Klan members, who make increasingly violent threats on Jessilyn and her family.

As she struggles to navigate a complex world of first crushes, loyalties, and betrayals, Jessilyn ultimately discovers what it takes to be a bright light in a dark world. (back cover)






The Wrong Mother by Sophie Hannah

Sally Thorning is watching the news with her husband when she hears a name she never thought she'd hear again: Mark Bretherick.

It's a name she shouldn't recognize. Last year, a work trip Sally had planned was canceled at the last minute. Desperate for a break from juggling her job and a young family, Sally didn't tell her husband that the trip had fallen through. Instead, she treated herself to a secret vacation in a remote hotel. While she was there, Sally met a man -- Mark Bretherick.

All the details are the same: where he lives, his job, his wife Geraldine and daughter Lucy. Except that the photograph on the news is of a man Sally has never seen before. And Geraldine and Lucy Bretherick are both dead. . . (back cover)







Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan with Danae Yankoski


God is love. Have you ever wondered if we're missing it?

It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe - the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor - loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss.

Whether you've verbalized it yet or not. . .we all know something's wrong.

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts - its falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything. (back cover)

Sins of the Flesh - Book Giveaway!

Sins of the Flesh by Caridad Piñeiro


Caterina Shaw's days are numbered. Her only chance for survival is a highly experimental gene treatment-a risk she willingly takes. But now Caterina barely recognizes herself. She has new, terrifying powers, an exotic, arresting body-and she's been accused of a savage murder, sending her on the run.

Mick Carrera is a mercenary and an expert at capturing elusive, clever prey. Yet the woman he's hunting down is far from the vicious killer he's been told to expect: Caterina is wounded, vulnerable, and a startling mystery of medical science. Even more, she's a beautiful woman whose innocent sensuality tempts Mick to show her exactly how thrilling pleasure can be. The heat that builds between them is irresistible, but surrendering to it could kill them both . . . for a dangerous group is plotting its next move using Caterina as its deadly pawn. (back cover)

I have five copies of this new book to giveaway - courtesy of Hachette Books!

1. U.S./Canada only - No PO Boxes
2. Giveaway ends Nov 18, 2009, 11:59PM CST.
3. All entries can currently be left in same comment.
   
4. For first entry - Leave comment with email address.
5. +2 Current Followers
6. +1 New Followers
7. +2 Follow me on twitter (kherbrand) and tweet - can use retweet button at bottom, or for a sidebar post in you blog.
   
8. +4 For a blog post - leave me the link please.
9. +1 If you tell me how you heard about this giveaway.
10. 10 entries possible.

GOOD LUCK!

Waiting on Wednesday: Alice I Have Been

Alice I Have Been by Melanie Benjamin

Publisher/Publication Date: Delacorte Press, Jan 12, 2010

Few works of literature are as universally beloved as Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Now, in this spellbinding historical novel, we meet the young girl whose bright spirit sent her on an unforgettable trip down the rabbit hole–and the grown woman whose story is no less enthralling.


But oh my dear, I am tired of being Alice in Wonderland. Does it sound ungrateful?

Alice Liddell Hargreaves’s life has been a richly woven tapestry: As a young woman, wife, mother, and widow, she’s experienced intense passion, great privilege, and greater tragedy. But as she nears her eighty-first birthday, she knows that, to the world around her, she is and will always be only “Alice.” Her life was permanently dog-eared at one fateful moment in her tenth year–the golden summer day she urged a grown-up friend to write down one of his fanciful stories.

That story, a wild tale of rabbits, queens, and a precocious young child, becomes a sensation the world over. Its author, a shy, stuttering Oxford professor, does more than immortalize Alice–he changes her life forever. But even he cannot stop time, as much as he might like to. And as Alice’s childhood slips away, a peacetime of glittering balls and royal romances gives way to the urgent tide of war.

For Alice, the stakes could not be higher, for she is the mother of three grown sons, soldiers all. Yet even as she stands to lose everything she treasures, one part of her will always be the determined, undaunted Alice of the story, who discovered that life beyond the rabbit hole was an astonishing journey.

A love story and a literary mystery, Alice I Have Been brilliantly blends fact and fiction to capture the passionate spirit of a woman who was truly worthy of her fictional alter ego, in a world as captivating as the Wonderland only she could inspire. (Amazon)

What are you waiting for? Waiting on Wednesdays is hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine.

Alice I Have Been
Publisher/Publication Date: Delacorte Press, Jan 12, 2010
ISBN: 978-0385344135
368 pages

Sherri Shepherd to be on Blog Talk Radio on Oct 29!

Please join us in a live interview with Sherri Shepherd, author of



PERMISSION SLIPS

Grand Central Publishing ISBN 9780446547420

Date: October 29, 2009

Time: 1:00 PM ET

Author: Sherri Shepherd

Title: Permission Slips

Publisher: Grand Central Pub



BlogTalkRadio/HBG Program:

Join us live as we interview Sherri Shepherd, co-host of The View and author of PERMISSION SLIPS. Sherri has been on the couch of many talk shows, such as The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, and The Bonnie Hunt Show, and she holds the record for being the most-booked guest on The Ellen Show (23 times). She can also be seen as Sgt. Judy, Robert Barone's partner, in Everybody Loves Raymond. Her other film roles include co-starring alongside Queen Latifah in Beauty Shop and Ashton Kutcher in Guess Who. Sherri's greatest accomplishment, however, is being the proud mother of her 4-year-old son, Jeffrey Charles, Jr. Away from the set, she enjoys karaoke, skating, church activities, and a good game of Taboo.



Call-in with your questions during show time to participate in the live interview @ 646-378-0039.



Listen-in or chat on the Grand Central Publishing channel on BlogTalkRadio.



If you would like your questions to be read on air by the host or if you would like to give advanced notice of your participation during the live call, email anna.balasi@hbgusa.com.



If you would like to receive a copy of the book, email anna.balasi@hbgusa.com.

Teaser Tuesday 10-27-2009

TEASER TUESDAYS asks you to:
Grab your current read.
Let the book fall open to a random page.
Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.
You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
Please avoid spoilers!



Of course I knew this desire of Dan's to remain invisible or untraceable on public records was a multi-layered problem that I'd eventually have to address directly. But I was also feeling protective. (Family Plots by Mary Patrick Kavanaugh, p116)










Teaser Tuesday is hosted at Should be Reading. Come on over and share your teaser, too!

An Interview with Douglas Jacobson - author of Night of Flames

I cannot tell you how excited I was to have the opportunity to interview Douglas Jacobson. His book, Night of Flames: A Novel of World War II drew me in from the very beginning and held me captive until the last page. I will be sharing my review, right here on Books and Needlepoint, very soon.


1. Hi, Mr Jacobson. Will you tell us a little about Night of Flames and what lead you to write this book?

A: Night of Flames is a historical novel set in Europe during WW2 that tells a story of the courage of common people caught up in the greatest catastrophe of the twentieth century. The main characters are a university professor in Krakow, Poland and her husband, a cavalry officer, who become separated on the first day of the war. For the next five years they try to survive and preserve their humanity while searching for each other across war-torn Europe. I have always been interested in WW2 history but my primary inspiration came when I got to know my Belgian son-in-law’s parents who were children during the German occupation of Belgium.


2. This really is a fascinating book! Was there a specific moment when you knew you wanted to be an author?

Yes, When my friends and I wrote horror stories in fifth grade to shock the teacher. She wasn’t shocked.

3. I had to laugh at that last answer. I want to know what an 11-year old Douglas thinks is shocking! Where is your favorite place to write - and do you need anything specific while you are writing?

Door County, Wisconsin and Longboat Key, Florida. All I need is time. Peace & quiet help as well.

4. Do you have any weaknesses as a writer and how have you overcome them?

Poor vocabulary. Thank God for the built in thesaurus.

5.You have overcome that very well! Do you have any strengths as a writer and how have they helped?

I think I’m a pretty good story teller. I practice with my seven grandchildren.

6. There is nothing better than sharing stories with kids! Especially since they tend to believe just about everything! During your research, who is the most interesting person you have met - or the most fascinating place you have been?

In NIGHT OF FLAMES I wrote about an organization founded by a 24 year-old nurse in Belgium called the Comet Line. These brave people (mostly women and teenagers) rescued more than a thousand Allied aviators shot down over Belgium during WW2. Most Comet Line agents were arrested by the Gestapo and executed. After my book was published in 2007 I was privileged to meet several surviving agents on the Comet Line in Brussels. They are all ladies in their 80s who survived imprisonment and torture. When asked why they did it, they simply said, “We did it for freedom.”


7. Your daughter Kerri recently accompanied you to Poland for research on your next book - Has she inherited your WWII enthusiasm?

Yes. But more than that, Kerri has enthusiasm for everything. She is my best and toughest critic and she is the model for my main character, Anna. Kerri is also a tireless researcher and she kept me on the go through Poland.

8. I know you are researching another book - can you tell us a little about it or when we can expect to see it?

I am just now finishing up a second historical novel set in Europe at the end of WW2. The story focuses on the aftermath and cover-up of one of the most notorious war crimes ever committed.

9. I have so enjoyed Night of Flames that I will definitely be looking for that one when it comes out! Have you had any surprising comments or questions during the promotion of Night of Flames?

The most surprising thing that has happened is that I read an article recently about a surviving WW2 veteran on the Polish army whose war-time journey throughout Europe was the exact same journey as my fictional character, Jan. This was a Polish veteran who was being honored by a Belgian-American newspaper for his service in the liberation of Belgium in 1944.

Thank you Mr. Jacobson for taking the time out to answer these questions!

You can find Mr. Jacobson at his blog - http://douglaswjacobson.blogspot.com.

Pendragon's Banner by Helen Hollick (Book Review)

Title: Pendragon's Banner (Book Two of The Pendragon's Banner Trilogy)
Author: Helen Hollick
Publisher: Sourcebooks Landmark

First sentence: With an exhausted grunt of effort, Arthur, the Pendragon, raised his sword and with a deep intake of breath brought it down through the full force of weight and momentum into the skull of an Anglian thegn.



Once again, Helen Hollick gives us a wonderful addition to King Arthur's story. Arthur started in The Kingmaking as a teenager - not even knowing that he was the heir to the throne. In Pendragon's Banner, he is not only King, but husband and father - and battling to do justice to all those roles.

Arthur has married Gwenhwyfar and with their children they have traveled, eventually settling at Caer Cadan. The traveling and Arthur's "wandering" have taken a toll on his and Gwenhwyfar's marriage. Add to the fact that Gwenhwyfar was also very intelligent and was somewhat a warrior herself - coming from a long line of warriors - there was bound to be conflict between the two. Even though they were estranged, they manage to come back together. Arthur is also battling his first wife, Winifred, and Morgause who has cursed his children if Arthur should ever come after her.

This book covers about 6 years but it does not lack for political struggles, battles, infidelity, romance. What you will not find though is Merlin or Excalibur or the Knights of the Round Table. This is historical fiction without all the fantasy - a King Arthur we can believe might really have lived.

I enjoyed this second installment of Pendragon's Banner as much as I did the first - but I found it hard to try to sum up. Most of this information is new to me, as I was never a big fan of the King Arthur stories. I am, however, a big fan of Helen Hollick's books and am looking forward to the re-release of the third book in this series next year.

To read more about Pendragon's Banner and visit other blogs on the tour, please visit my earlier post telling about the tour. You will also find a synopsis of the book there.


***Special thanks to Paul at Sourcebooks for providing me with this review copy.***

Pendragon's Banner
Publisher/Publication Date: Sourcebooks Landmark, Sept 2009
ISBN: 978-1-4022-1889-7
496 pages

First Wild Card Tour: Messages to Myself (Book Review)

f">It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!




My review: Sometimes it is really hard for me to review a non-fiction, self-help book - and this was one of those times. I like her ideas, in that you have to "reframe" your thinking or self-talk. Many of us immediately go to the negative if something bad happens and she says we need to learn how to go away from these negative thoughts about ourselves and look at how God would see the situation - and that regardless of what you think about yourself - God created you perfectly and He is enough. See, I am not sure that I am doing a good job explaining here - so let me tell you about a conversation that I had with my oldest daughter tonight.


She was upset because a boy she liked at school told her that he didn't have time for a girlfriend right now. The first thing she said to me was - "He says he doesn't have time for a girlfriend, but he just doesn't want me to be his girlfriend." I talked with her a little bit and told her not to read anything into what he had said - and that maybe this was God's way of telling her that there was somebody even better out there - she just needed to wait a little longer.


This is very much a faith-based book and if you are already a Believer it would be a good book to have if you struggle with self-doubt, depression, feelings of insignificance. I am not sure how a person who hadn't accepted Christ as their Saviour would view this book though. I am not sure that it would actually lead someone to Christ. I like knowing that I am not alone in these thoughts and behaviours though, and Dr. McIntosh gave lots of great scripture references to help boost you up.

Today's Wild Card author is:

Dr. Helen McIntosh

and the book:

Messages To Myself: Overcoming a Distorted Self-Image

Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City (May 15, 2009)

***Special thanks to Blythe Daniel of The Blythe Daniel Agency, Inc.for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Helen McIntosh has a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified in Reality Therapy, speaker, author, and inventor of The Peace Rug®. She spent 18 years in public education. As school counselor, she wrote the book, Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug® to help students resolve conflicts with peers. Fox News has shown interest in her work in school violence. She has written for Guideposts and ParentLife, and has been reviewed in BookPleasures.com, Good News Tucson, Chattanooga Times-Free Press, Daily Citizen newspapers, and will be reviewed on CBN.org, Miami Motherhood, Esperanza and hopetocope.com, The Christian Post, and others.

Messages To Myself: Overcoming a Distorted Self-Image is published by Beacon Hill Press (June 2009) and is endorsed by Stasi Eldredge, Kay Arthur, Steve Arterburn, Sheila Walsh, June Hunt, and Jan Silvious.

Visit the author's website and The Peace Rug®.

Product Details:

List Price: $13.99
Paperback: 160 pages
Publisher: Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City (May 15, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0834124564
ISBN-13: 978-0834124561

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

1

What Are You Thinking?

I thought I handled the blows in my life and to my sense of well-being with a learned Southern charm and grace: “Well, okay—if that’s what you think” or “If that’s what you say, then it must be true.” After all, why would anyone intentionally wound me or cause me to question his or her words or actions?

I slowly came to realize, though, that not everyone—including my loved ones—understood the power their words had over me or understood that I allowed their words to dominate my thinking and what I believed about myself. Over time, I came to understand that there were feelings and emotions deep inside that I couldn’t account for. I didn’t remember how or why they resided in my heart, but I wanted to banish them and the damage they had caused.

I didn’t know that my thoughts and my behavior were linked in any way. So when I had a specific thought about a person’s actions or a word that was spoken to me, I didn’t realize how much it affected the way I lived.

The effects of these words and actions also affected the way I viewed relationships—my relationship with myself and my relationships with others. I knew I needed to reframe (“reframe” is a term I use to mean picturing something in a different light) years of pain and frustration, but I had no role model to follow.

The Truth Chart

The Truth Chart process that I developed was initially developed for my own mental health. I began using it in 1970, but it was many years before I began sharing it with others. Now I have almost daily opportunities to share this method, and I have been surprised and humbled by the results. The participants in the classes I teach and those I counsel in my private practice continue to share that they have had dramatic changes in their thinking patterns and behaviors. These individuals have encouraged me to put these ideas into this book so others can experience what they have discovered regarding depression, emotional anxiety, and personal thought life. They have shared that these ideas are novel, concrete, and practical.

For most of my childhood and into my adulthood, I thought of myself as vanilla—you know, just plain vanilla. No sparkle, no color, nothing memorable. Certainly not jamocha almond fudge or white chocolate strawberry—just vanilla.

Many damaging messages were delivered to me by people who were important to me during the course of my life: “Can’t you do anything right?” “You’re so weak, so stupid, so clumsy . . .” I had internalized those messages, and they had become a major component in my self-talk and poor self-image. Samples of my internal scripts were “I am a zero.” “I never do anything right.”

In addition to these damaging conversations with myself, I had never really internalized God’s view of me either. These became more than just internal thoughts—they became wounds that affected me deeply. The wounds were far deeper than a skinned knee here and there, although there were many of those. The wounds I’m referring to were name-calling, displays of anger and rage, and actions against me.

Since I invited Christ to come into my life as my Savior and Lord many years ago, I’ve been totally convinced that God loves me and has a plan for my life. I knew He had forgiven my sins and answered many prayers. I’ve taught Sunday School and Bible studies since my salvation experience, and I have taught biblical life principles to others and believed them as truth. But when I had feelings of not being special or had feelings of not being of value to God, I didn’t really label those thoughts as lies. I taught others about guarding their thoughts, but I never really internalized the application of these principles into my own thought life. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe I was special to God. But there were wounds—deep internal messages from others—that superseded God’s messages to me. Fortunately, that has all changed.

Not too long ago I asked God for the name He had for me. I first heard of this concept at a conference by author John Eldredge a few years ago, but I didn’t ask God right then. This idea originated in the passage of Scripture from John 10:3 about how “the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out” (nkjv, emphasis added). I knew it was important for me to hear God’s name for me; I just wasn’t sure I really wanted to know. I was confident it would be something vanilla.

Recently, though, I decided I needed to know. I didn’t hear God’s audible voice, but clearly and distinctly, after a time of prayer, came the phrase “Warrior Princess.” Wow! Nothing vanilla about “Warrior Princess!” God had reframed my thoughts even about who I am.

We make choices like that every day—every moment of every day. What are we to believe when we have certain ongoing thoughts and feelings? Thoughts and feelings may feel very real. But are they true?

The purpose of this book is to help you be attentive to your thoughts and feelings, but you must not get stuck in reflections and past hurts. Instead, look at your thoughts and feelings from the truth of God’s perspective. You are not wiping out the real and honest wounds or reflections or even the in-depth processing of these things that come to your heart and mind. They are to be validated; but don’t get stuck there.

Wounds in Action

Once you are able to see your wounds and reflections from God’s point of view, you can be freed from ongoing despondency, depression, anger, and anxiety. Remember the word I used earlier, “reframing”? Here’s a recent personal story to illustrate what reframing is.

It was the week before I was scheduled to speak at a women’s retreat. It was a cold, drizzly afternoon. I had just dropped off my granddaughter at her home and was only a few blocks away. I went through a fast-food drive-through and picked up some large containers of soup, which I put on the floor of my car to take to my mother-in-law.

Traffic was thick, as it always is on this busiest street at the busiest time in the afternoon—bumper to bumper. I have no idea how it happened, really, and I offer no excuses. But before I knew it, I was looking down at the soup that was wobbling on the floor—and I reached for it, consequently bumping the car in front of me suddenly. My car had moved forward—apparently my foot slipped—and I was thrust into one of the most embarrassing moments of my life! It was followed by such personal agony—a genuine shame attack. I am such a disaster. How could I have done that? I will never be trusted ever again to drive my granddaughters. A lot of people saw it. I felt totally exposed! I had stopped traffic, and I felt as if hundreds of pairs of eyes were watching and calling me stupid.

XXX

Hear the wound? Do you hear the stories under the wound? You can hear the ownership of responsibility, but mostly you hear the pain. We’ll reframe this in just a minute. Back to the scene.

The man in front of me was not happy. In what seemed only a second he walked back to my car and stood beside me. Oh, he was angry! And I even knew him—and his wife, who was with him. But he didn’t let that stand in the way! He quickly called the police, which, of course, you are supposed to do. Within five agonizing minutes we were summoned to drive a short distance to a service station on a corner where twice as many people could see us. There wasn’t just one police car—there were two. I was overwhelmed with an all-too-familiar sense of inadequacy and failure, by the feeling of being a bad grandmother. How scary to realize that my granddaughter was in the car only moments before! I’m too bad a driver to be trusted to drive my grandchildren ever again. These messages then multiplied and began to connect with my mother’s damaging accusations from decades before—her avalanche of accusations over the smallest of infractions. That tender place in my heart was hurting so badly.

Picture me: I stood with the police in the cold, wet rain. It was freezing outside, and I had on several jackets; but because I was fresh from a pedicure, I was wearing high-heeled jeweled sandals—and holding my teacup poodle. How silly I must have looked!

For hours and hours Satan whispered additional messages to the ones I was already having, such as “How can you possibly teach the women this weekend?” My agony was profound. It was time to reframe.

Reframing

I went to God and first said, Lord, I hurt so badly. I feel like such a failure. I feel like such a zero, so “legally blonde.” I’m very okay with the traffic ticket and the fine, and I’m fine with replacing the man’s bumper. Those things aren’t what bother me. I just hate feeling so inadequate.

Then I started looking at that accident through God’s perspective—period. I began to say to Him, The truth is—it was serious, but everyone is okay. I was careless, but I am not a failure as a person. God, I am so sorry. I hate what it feels like to be distracted. Lord, could you give me grace to bear this hurt—the grace that I enjoy giving to others but have trouble receiving myself? You are enough for this ouch. Thank you that I am adequate in you; thank you that I don’t have to be adequate in my own strength anyway. I would love to learn from this, Lord. I ask you to help me be a better driver. When I think of this accident, I choose to think of the ways I have already grown and choose now not to assume false shame. Thank you, Lord. You are enough.

This book is about the process of reframing thinking, feelings, and past or present wounds, and it’s based primarily on the following two Scripture passages. It’s also about restoring relationships—through both your self-talk and your other-talk.

Though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).

If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:31-32).

A stronghold is like a worn path—but a path that is created by the enemy of our lives. Have you ever taken a shortcut across the lawn again and again? Pretty soon you have created a marked path. When you know you should go a different way but you keep returning to that same path, that is a stronghold. When someone has a difficult conversation with you, and the damage of the conversation is not repaired, you will continue to feel that hurt, that wound, for a long time. Then you develop sensitivity to similar wounds by others, and that, too, is a stronghold.

Maybe you tend to often take on false guilt or false responsibility from someone else’s words or actions. False guilt and false responsibility are strongholds. If you have a sad thought, then another and another—and they don’t receive attention—it becomes a stronghold. Maybe you’re plagued by recurring anxious or fearful thoughts that don’t get resolved as the wounds deepen. Those, too, become strongholds. You get the idea of how this pattern can deepen and spread to more than just one area of your life. You have not only developed a stronghold but have also established an agreement with your enemy.

It is the truth—biblical truth—that does set one free from these strongholds or bondages. Truth is the only thing that can provide freedom from these “strongholds,” “arguments,” and “every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.”

Before we explore this, let me clarify that I’m not speaking of truth that some might interpret as positive messages that sound good and cheerful for the moment. Examples of these well-meaning but often damaging messages include “Oh, you can do it!” “You can always get another dog,” “Time will take care of that,” or “Be happy—you have so much.” The reality is that when someone is mad, sad, anxious, or fearful, there’s more important information to be gained from the expressions of emotions.

We need to look long and hard at what our thoughts and feelings are telling us about our heart. Just being positive and cheerful could serve only to minimize pain, implying that there is a fast “cure” that is not realistic. Positive messages we give ourselves or receive from others will not have a lasting effect. Only Christ can permanently relieve the hurt of deep emotional pain. Though you can be available for friends and loved ones, and others can be available for you, cheerful counsel and unsolicited advice are not the answer. The mind of Christ is required.

Careful study of the Scriptures, learning scriptural principles, and looking to the Holy Spirit for guidance give us the wisdom to see truth from His perspective.

Truth: Where Does It Come From?

I believe that God is the author of truth, wherever it is found. As a counselor in the public school system for 12 years, I could not initiate conversations about God or use biblical scriptures, but I could talk with students about more general principles of “truth.”

It’s fascinating to see how truth and reasoning are handled by the secular professionals in our society. In the field of psychology, there is renowned research to show the truth and profound importance of disputing irrational thinking as the main antidote to depression and anxiety. I had been reframing my thoughts and feelings for decades before I found this research, but it confirmed the importance of what I had been practicing to deal with my thoughts. The research states that “cognitive behavioral therapy,” or the “disputing of irrational beliefs,” is superior to pharmacology, which is using medication to aide in someone’s pain management, or even a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and pharmacology. God’s perspective is the ultimate reframing, and it stretches beyond just knowing that irrational thinking should be disputed. The study of secular research and how it underscores the truth of what I’m sharing with you is discussed in more depth in a future chapter.

For now, let’s explore more fully what reframing of self-talk is and how to develop a mental outline to help when you are continuing the well-worn path of anger, depression, fear, or anxiety. Conquering these results of self-lies is possible.


Making It Personal

1. A suggested prayer: Lord, would you open wide my understanding of the issues of my own heart? Would you help me put a name on my hurts? Would you help me to see the damage? Would you give me the grace to cover this tender time of reflection and exploration of my thoughts and feelings? In Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

2. Don’t rush this next step. Take your time. Think about what might be past and present wounds. You can list people, events, circumstances, conversations, anything in your life that has brought hurt.

Past wounds








Present wounds








3. Are there some common themes? What might they be called? Some examples: abandonment, rejection, feelings of inadequacy. These are possible strongholds.

Touched By a Vampire - This book could be yours!

Touched by a Vampire: Discovering the Hidden Messages in the Twilight Saga
by Beth Felker Jones

People around the world are enraptured with Edward and Bella's forbidden romance in the Twilight Saga, a four-book serial phenomenon written by Stephenie Meyer. The bestsellers tell the story of a regular girl's relationship with a vampire who has chosen to follow his "good" side. But the Saga isn't just another fantasy -- it's teaching girls about love, sex, and purpose. With 48 million copies in print and a succession of upcoming blockbuster films, now is the time to ask the important question: Can vampires teach us about God's plan for love?

Touched by a Vampire investigates the themes of the Twilight Saga from a Biblical perspective. Some Christian readers have praised moral principles illustrated in the story, such as premarital sexual abstinence, which align with Meyer's Mormon beliefs. But ultimately, Beth Felker Jones examines whether the story's redemptive qualities outshine its darkness.

Cautionary, thoughtful, and challenging, Touched by a Vampire is written for Twilight fans, parents, teachers, and youth workers. It includes an overview of the series for those unfamiliar with the storyline and a discussion guide for small groups. (back cover)

I have 1 copy of this book to giveaway to a lucky winner. All you have to do is tell me whether or not you saw the first Twilight movie and if you were planning on going to New Moon. (Must do this to enter). Please leave an email address in comment - open to U.S. only - one entry per person - giveaway ends November 12, 11:59pm CST.

My middle daughter talked me into going with her to the first Twilight movie - she had already seen it once - and then I talked her into going to it again with me. We then bought the video and loaned it to my sister who has since watched it too many times to count. She is also on the fourth book of the series and admitted to me that she probably hasn't read a complete book in 20 years! So - we are planning a girls night out to see New Moon (hopefully on opening night) - with me, my sister, my two daughters and any other women we can round up!

Kid's Korner: The Laceyville Monkeys (Book Review)

Title: The Laceyville Monkeys: Say the Right Words
Author: Harriett Ruderman
Illustrator: Beverly Luria
Publisher: Illusion Press, LLC

First sentence:

Three little monkeys
came to Laceyville Town
in just the right month
for a night that's renown.

This is a very clever book on teaching kids the importance of "saying the right words!" It is a rhyming book about a troop of 3 monkeys that will only perform when their owner, Hepzibah, asks them to, using very specific words. When the monkeys are kidnapped and taken to a talent contest by someone other than Hephzibah, because she doesn't ask appropriately, the monkeys will not perform. Of course, Hephzibah comes along and save the day by asking the monkey to perform using the special words.

The book was also illustrated very colorfully and humorously with many pictures of different animals performing silly things. While my son likes this book, I am not sure he got the "lesson" out of it - but who knows - it amazes me sometimes the things he picks up!

About the author: Harriett Ruderman is a communications professional, who has seen the magic of what words can do in reaching goals and fulfilling dreams. Her company, Harriett Ruderman Public Relations, has been saying the right words for top international clients for many years. The Laceyville Monkeys is her first children's book, dedicated to bringing the power of warm, caring words of encouragement and love to children everywhere. (from the book jacket)

About the illustrator: Beverly Luria has been an artist and illustrator for over 25 years. Drawing, watercolor, graphic design and cartooning are her favorite art forms. She is currently working on illustration for a variety of children's stories and illustration for graphic novels. The Laceyville Monkeys is her first children's picture book. (from the book jacket)

***Special thanks to Harriett Ruderman and Bostick Communications for sending me a review copy.***

The Laceyville Monkeys
Publisher/Publication Date: Illusion Press, LLC, March 2009
ISBN: 978-0-615-26482-0
32 pages
Reading Level: 4-8 years old